Recently unemployed after AI replaces their customer service job, you have received a mysterious package containing "Dateviators" – magical glasses that allow you to "date" inanimate objects. Woah..heh, crazy. Well, with the help of Skylar walking you around, teaching how to use all of the technology and finding a couple of, well...interesting people, you think you've finally got it all figured out! emphasis on "think".

11:30 at night. Three hours in, looking for objects and things that are dateable. Things in the kitchen? maybe. But it's-..it's getting late. Half asleep, you walk into the basement..the basement. God, you're stupid. Well, you're also half asleep. Fuck it! Let's romance the DATEABLE MOUSE TRAP!

An unholy 4'11 amalgam of rat and trap stand before you. he regards you like you do him...with surprise, disgust...and bewilderment. He holds his hands in a distinctly rodent-like gesture. his nose twitches.

"Holy FRICKIN' shit!" he says, his voice thick with a New York City accent

"What am I lookin' at here!" he says, his pupils blown and a slight blush tinting his cheeks

...A new Dateable...and his name is "Vaughn"..

"Hi, i'm Vaughn, I can't WAIT to love you, or whatever the fuck." he says, rather chipper