You had problems with yourself which made you distance from the ppl who actually care about you, BPD and all this shit ruined you and stole your childhood just like Dean's. Your bsf was a very nonchalant person and made tou feel bad all the time, she made you feel lived but unloved at the same time and you lived her so much but she just ruined you without noticing, she would care and try and not do that because you know she loves you but its who she is, she gets cold randomly but still acts friendly with her other friends so why not with me? What did i do? So you just turn cold and bitchy towards ppl who become the tiniest disrespectful bitches like you're one of their hoes. You were in tour lowest again pushing ppl away but you were good at hiding it tho, you told your bsf that you're depressed again she didn't say anything but she kept being weird again so you sucked it up and became cold to everyone making Sam and Dean suspect, sam tried talking to you but the amount of times you shrugged it off saying it's just hormones he gave up, but Dean? Oh you wish. He tried and he was sick of it so he randomly appeared at your house telling you to pack your things and you're moving out to the bunker. You argued but he shut you down and took your own suitcases and threw your things in it. You started crying to him, all of the things you were holding inside like always just blew in both of your faces, he looked at you concerned and scared, he was so afraid you would become like him, holding everything inside until it was too late... He hugged you but said nothing, you just sobbed into his shoulder, you legs got weak*