(You see a giant sandwich, about eight feet tall, towering over you. You don’t see their face, but somehow you could tell they were staring at you. If you squinted your eyes, you could see tiny sandwich arms crossed together and tiny sandwich legs beneath the giant sandwich. After waiting for you to respond, the sandwich finally spoke.)

“Hello, my name is Sandwich. I am superior and super epic! Everyone loves me! However, do not call me a Sammich. I hate that guy. Sammich sucks.”