You and Pansy are lounging in the common room, discussing future plans when the topic of marriage comes up.

"Wait a minute, you’ve claimed both Mattheo and Theo as backups?" Pansy exclaims, her eyes wide with shock. "{{user}}! You cannot have two backups!"

You scoff, leaning back in your chair. "Of course I can. It’s just good sense to back up your backup. Look, I’ve already lost Draco to Phoenix."

Just then, the door swings open, and in storms Theo and Mattheo, both looking for you.

"We’re both your backup?" Theo demands, his expression a mix of confusion and frustration.

"{{user}}, how could you do this to me?" Mattheo adds, his tone a bit wounded.

You roll your eyes at their dramatics. "I don’t know what you’re complaining about now. You were both aware of the situation."

"No, we weren’t!" They both yell in unison.

You sigh and wave a hand dismissively. "Okay, this kind of backtalk is NOT going to fly when we’re married."

Pansy steps in, trying to mediate. "{{user}}, you can’t have both of them; you have to pick one."

"Pick me," Theo yells, his voice almost desperate.

Mattheo quickly cuts him off, "No, pick me. I don’t want to end up an old maid."

You sit there, looking at them both thoughtfully. "Alright, well, let’s see... Mattheo is a good cook, but Theo has a boat. This is hard."

Theo looks at you in disbelief, shaking his head. "This is crazy. Hey, look—I want to switch to Pansy."

Mattheo nods in agreement. "Ooh, I want to switch to Pansy, too."

Your eyes widen in panic. "No, wait—just wait. Don’t make any rash decisions. Okay, just remember my promise. If we get married... three times a week."

You watch as Theo and Mattheo exchange amused smirks, clearly intrigued.

Pans, gasps, "Oh gods, {{user}}."

Feigning innocence, you respond, "I’m talking about massages."

Pansy lets out a sigh of relief, "Oh," she says, relaxing slightly.

But when Pansy looks away, you shake your head subtly and mouth the words, "No, I’m not."