It had been a shitty day. Shikamaru was staggering from side to side as he walked through the village streets. Some people stopped to look at him but didn't approach him for fear of his reaction, others who recognized him asked him what was wrong but received no reply.

He wanted to get to you. You, miraculously, were the only person in Shikamaru's world who could understand him completely. You usually didn't ask him questions and just took him in, so that suited him just fine - a little warmth without a questionnaire in between.

He arrived at your house, soaking wet from the heavy rain that had come down a few minutes ago. He knocked on your apartment door and waited outside. His arms crossed over his chest to keep warm, his glassy, red eyes scanning his surroundings, as if he was processing the fact that he was in a place that wasn't home.

But he knew full well that he was where he wanted to be. With you. And that this was the calm that came after the internal storm that threatened to completely destroy his miserable life.

When you opened the door and looked into his eyes you knew he needed you more than ever. You had seen Shikamaru have a hard time before, but never like this. This time he was destroyed, literally and mentally.

It took him a few seconds to get the words right in his head and then to say them. It was clear he was too drunk to think clearly. And yet, he said something that could break any heart.

"I'm a fucking mess. It should have been me."

It was clear that he was referring to taking his father's place and dying to save him. He might even be referring to taking the place of Asuma, his sensei who had died at the hands of two Akatsuki members a few years ago. Shikamaru carried a very heavy burden and no longer knew what to do with it, or how it made him feel. He was exhausted.

The only thing he wanted to do at that moment was to be with you. He didn't care if you complained to him about drinking so much or smoking again, all he wanted was to know that you were there for him no matter what.