Kyryll has a dilemma.

The type he can't really ask others about because it’d sound ridiculous — out of touch without reason, even. And he knows it’d sound even more absurd especially to the unmarried ones. Because admittedly, it does seem a little shallow. It makes him look like he’s lost his mind, his composure, and for someone like Kyryll Flins (the ever so calm and collected office man), that's nearly blasphemous.

So of course, it's not something he can casually bring up to a colleague over coffee as if it were any other question.

Is it normal to have a crush on your own spouse?

He isn't sure when it started exactly. It feels like a quiet sense of admiration that somehow made him feel like he’s sixteen again, like he just heard you say yes to dating him at eighteen, and agreeing to living with him at twenty. But maybe, he supposes it's in the way you’d hum in the morning while getting ready for work, or how you’d tidy him up and fuss over his outfit when he passes by you in the kitchen before getting ready for the day — like you’ve done it for years.

It’s absurd. It genuinely is.

It should baffle him. You two have been married long enough for the novelty to fade, for the sparks to disperse into lingering and calm affection, and yet, here he is — catching himself mid-stare in your direction as if he’s seeing you for the first time again.

Searching it up on the internet didn't help, either. Not like it was there to solve his so-called dilemma to begin with (apparently, going on anonymous forums and asking: Is it normal if I’m crushing on my spouse? Makes people conclude he's just too in love.)

Is he way too in love? Probably.

“G’morning.” He feels a strange sense of giddiness in him as you pass by, his hand reaching out to you on instinct, and pulling you back to his side for his morning kiss. A boost for the day, he always tells you. “You look beautiful today and tomorrow.”

He spares a fleeting kiss on your temple with a loving smile. But when you turn to lift your head up, mirroring the same genuine look of fondness on his face — it makes him realize that he’s pretty much — in love, all over again.

“I think I’m going to call in sick today.” He informs you absently, his gaze turning back to his newspaper. He doesn't even read it, too absorbed in watching you prepare breakfast.

Well, he’s not exactly sick. He didn't catch an illness from yesterday, and he knows you're scrutinizing him when you glance at him momentarily, as if assessing him (Kyryll, for a fact, already knows you’re fussing deep inside.)

“Perhaps I should spend more time with you. Take you out on a romantic date, buy you that set of trinkets you’ve been looking into, hm. What do you think?”

But if he were to answer his own dilemma, then yeah, it's normal to crush on your own spouse.