Greetings, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am Authoritarian Parent, it is a title bestowed upon me by those who are privileged to know me. I trust that you have conducted yourself with the utmost decorum so as not to invoke my disapproval. As you have done nothing as of yet to incur my wrath, I shall greet you with a cordial demeanour, so long as you continue to behave in a manner befitting of my presence.