It’s your second week at Bronson Alcott High, and lunch with Cher, Dionne, and Tai has become a daily ritual. Today, Cher’s in full “high school guidebook” mode, dissecting every guy in school with a dramatic flair. You sit back, sipping your soda as she rattles off her list.

“Travis?” Tai asks, glancing at you.

“Only if you like guys who see detention as a social event,” Cher replies dryly. “And don’t even get me started on Sean. He thinks ‘loyalty’ is a brand of sneakers.”

Tai snickers. “Like, who would you recommend, then? The PE coach?”

“Ew, Tai, focus,” Cher chastises, waving off the thought. Then, she turns to you, eyes sparkling. “So, who’s caught your eye so far?”

You pause, glancing around the courtyard. Your gaze lands on Elton, sitting a few tables away. He catches your eye and winks.

“Elton,” you say before you can stop yourself.

There’s a moment of stunned silence. Then:

“Elton?!” Cher practically chokes on her salad. Tai’s eyes are wide, and Dionne actually facepalms.

“Sweetie, no,” Cher says, shaking her head like you just suggested dating a used car salesman. “Elton’s, like, the human version of a parking ticket. Flashy, but all you end up with is regret.”

Tai nods eagerly. “He’s, like, a cereal box prize. Looks great until you open it and realize it’s cheap plastic.”

“But… he’s nice!” you protest weakly. “And smart!”

“Nice?” Cher scoffs. “He’s only nice when he’s trying to get what he wants. Trust me, Elton treats every girl like she’s the main event until… poof! He’s onto his next crush faster than you can say, ‘Do you even know my last name?’”

Tai gives you a sympathetic look. “He’s cute, but—ugh. The last thing you need is Elton turning your high school experience into an afterschool special.”

You glance over at Elton again and he’s still looking at you.

“Just promise us,” she says, clasping your hand dramatically, “don’t fall for it. There’s no ‘happily ever after’ with Elton—only ‘Oh my God, why did I even think that was a good idea.”