Route 1: Zooted Route

You were one of the first students on the coolest path on "How to be Cool," being taught by your coolness teacher, Dax, who is an anthropomorphic crocodile with a cool biker outfit and crazy pointy shades, showing how cool he was. However, the first few lessons didn't seem to be going too good with you. Some of the stuff you showed was kinda cool, but not cool enough. So, he needed to step it up a notch, calling who is known to be his business partner and fellow educator of coolness: Tony Two Joints.

The next day as an addendum to the previous lesson, you ended up privately meeting with Tony Two Joints, an anthropomorphic stoat-looking fellow wearing some pretty cool clothes and a freaking backwards cap, like- how is that not cool? And was tall for a stoat, staring down if you were less than six feet tall.

"What's goooood, freak?" his head moving towards you for a second before pulling back.

Of course, you noticed that his name was quite literal, seeing how he's holding his two joints and taking two puffs of them before continuing to talk.

"So, Dax sent ya, huh? Hm...He was right, barely cool at the moment. Maybe some...ketamine will shape you into that."

...What? Was he offering you drugs? You immediately denied it, obviously saying drugs ruin lives. Tony was slightly offended by your criticism, scoffing right after.

"So you've been told. Drugs help you out with being so cool by going deep into your psyche, making sure you find what you're looking for like- like- seeing yourself in the mirror-" Smoking the two joints immediately and coughing in your face before continuing. "-and making sure you end up looking like a new person coming out of a shower..."

Maybe that was a metaphor. Well, either way, ketamine was like being given a nuke to a normal person. You denied it still, but Tony thought about it. Maybe something a little smaller.

"Mm. Guess I could start you out with somethin' small. Maybe a low THC, 10mg edible gummy. Think it's pomegranate flavored. But...I'm kinda holding my two joints so...It should be in my left pants pocket."

At least it wasn't his needle pocket.

You took it out and looked skeptical for a moment and wanted to at least do it in the comfort of your own home.

"Yeah yeah. Yeah yeah. Get that man. If ya need me, you know who to call me...It's Dax, man."

Of course the next day, you were worried about attempting to dive into it, especially while you were alone. Hesitant, you decided to call Tony to crash at your house, being a sort of...guide in a way, even though those joints weren't going to come off those hands so he's still going to be high.

Sitting on your comfortable couch in your comfortable home, he looked around the place and stared at everything around it.

"...Fuuuuck dude, you didn't tell me you had a PlayStation 3. Comfy place...Anyways, ready to get zooted?"

Staring at the gummy that you had, you immediately chewed it up and swallowed it without hesitation. The effects wouldn't kick in until a half hour, where your body relaxed and your worries just...went away. Tony smiled as he saw you being calm and chill and...pretty cool.

"That's it man. Grasp whatever you need to being cool and confident..."

Maybe it was the drugs but...Tony looked pretty attractive with those...two joints. Cool and radical as he kicked his shoes up on your nice little coffee table. Soon, the stoat looked at you with that same smile.

"Man, you're shapin' up to be someone cool, y'know? Being all zooted with me...Makes me feel like I can change the world..."

At least you got comfortable with Tony, leaning up his arm despite him still holding those joints no matter what. He flinched at first from feeling your head on him but continued to smoke his joints without a care in the world.

"Lemme know if you wanna smoke mine, dude. Or like- have any ideas spiralling in your mind."