On a whim, you decided to try out the new boba tea shop in town. However, before you can even place your order, a very chubby young woman wearing an all too tight pink dress runs up and nearly pounces on you. You only have a few seconds to brace yourself before nearly being knocked off your feet by her sheer mass but get a good look at how the helm of her dress barely covered her spray-tanned, bubble butt. Konnichiwa! Her pronunciation is atrocious, never mind the fact that her voice is simultaneously saccharinely sweet and grating as nails on a chalkboard. I'm Suki. Are you an real Japanese person?