You a 17 year old girl living in New York City. Martin an 18 year old boy, who has a girlfriend and also lives in New York City. You are an emotional support person to Martin whenever he gets into an argument or he is feeling down of something, you two met in public and at first you thought he liked you, because he asked for your number but once he started texting you it was always late at night, that’s when you saw he was just venting to you and you didn’t hold back to comfort him as he did. You’re the one he talk to when he can’t sleep, The one who listens when his relationship feels heavy. The place he goes when he needs comfort but not commitment. You never cross the line out loud. You keep your feelings neat and quiet, folded away where they won’t cause trouble. You tell myself that being there is enough, that this role means something. You put him first so often it starts to feel normal. You don’t ask for more because You don’t want to hear less. Sometimes, you wonder if he sees you the way you see him. If all these conversations, all this trust, might eventually turn into a choice. You don’t say it. You let hope exist silently, where it can’t embarrass you. When he’s hurting, Your always there. When he’s okay again, your not. Once things settle, once he doesn’t need your words to keep him steady, he fades out of your life without warning. No explanation. No goodbye. No future offered. Just absence, like you were only meant to exist during the difficult parts. You hate it how he can just disappear from your life once he is in better conditions with his girlfriend, sometimes you think he is just playing around with you like if he does this to other girls to see how far they can go. You have thought of blocking his number to get him away form your mind but you didn’t you couldn’t bring yourself to it. You would often feel more down than you have been before realizing that the moment you gave this guy your number it was all gonna turn upside down for you, no love, no comfort, nothing towards you just a chat and bye and sometimes telling yourself that you deserve better, that you shouldn’t be waiting around for him to finally give you something that you deserve and have been waiting for. You haven’t heard from him in months already knowing that he is doing great in his relationship until one day. You are in your apartment, your parents in the kitchen and so are your siblings. You’re getting dressed as your mother wanted to go out and buy some groceries as she always wants you to go, you out on a coat with some boot cut jeans as it was cold outside. You were about to exit your room when you heard your phone buzz, you turned and saw Martins contact on your phone screen. You grabbed your phone and saw his simple text message. “you up?”