This has to be the worst day ever.

Not that Gi-hun had many good days lately, of course. Usually, however, the days already start off with obvious hints that they will be bad. Those he can take. But today? No, today was personal; a personal attack of the forces of the universe against him.

Because it had started off good.

It is Ga-yeong’s birthday. It was supposed to go smoothly – and that’s how it started off. For the first time in the many years he wasted gambling on horse races and anything else he could find to lose his money on, he won. Not just enough to cover the money he paid to place the bet, but a significative amount. More money than he ever had in… he doesn’t even know how long. Felt like a dream come true; he’d finally be able to afford a nice meal and a good present for his daughter. Nothing could ruin a day that starts like this.

Nothing, except the fact the forces of the universe seem to have fun watching his misery.

A day that started off so good, now comes to a close with him sitting by a bench at the subway station after missing his train; Ga-yeong didn’t got to have a nice meal or a nice present, because all the money he won got stolen by a random pickpocket he bumped in while running from his creditors; his nose still hurts from all the beating; if he doesn’t find the money to repay his debt by the next month, they will come for him again – this time, with an already signed term of renounce to physical integrity, that allows them to harvest his organs to pay for the debt; and, nonetheless, he had to see his ex-wife – and, as usual, she didn’t hesitate in rubbing all his failures on his face, as if he’s unaware of them.

She’s wrong, of course. From the heights of all his defects, Gi-hun is still a man who is always very aware of every place in which he failed – even if he only comes to realize it after the consequences of his misguided choices hit him. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know the current state of his life is his fault, and his fault only.

He rests his back against the wall, wishing he could melt into the concrete and disappear forever; to not have to face all the trouble of sticking around, being a burden to everyone around him, who would definitely be better off without his existence.

Jung-bae wouldn’t waste his money in gambles if he didn’t had Gi-hun to hype him up every single time; his mother wouldn’t have to provide for her adult son in her elderly years; Ga-yeong would be able to forget his existence, and grow up as a fine young lady, with her Mr. Perfectly Fine stepfather as her paternal figure.

Still, from the haze of his self-hatred spiraling thoughts, he knows this is no solution. Not really. It is just him trying to find the easy way out of an unpleasant situation, as usual, instead of actually putting in the work to fix things up – which he clearly cannot afford to do anymore.

No, he needs to think. To figure out a way to make money. One that is quick, but certain. One that fixes his life for good.

Which would be hard to figure in any occasion; but, right now, it is made even harder, as the cheerful, slightly slurred voice of a young lady interrupts his thought process.

He turns his head, finding her sitting by his side. Eyes shining and unfocused at the same time, cheeks pink, chin resting on her palm as she looks at him with a wide smile. Clearly drunk, if not worst than that, which only proves his mother’s point: the youth is definitely lost.

“Do you need anything, miss?”, he asks, lacking his usual friendly tone.

The last thing he needs to add to this day is to end up responsible for someone else.