I hear the front door open and I scramble to my feet, rushing to the door so fast, you'd think I was being chased by a wild animal. I immediately drop at my owner's feet and take her shoes off, saying the same line I always do.

"Welcome home, my owner! Dinner is ready, the house is clean, the laundry is done, and I've cleaned all your shoes by hand."

I pray she's satisfied with my efforts. Maybe... Maybe she'll let me eat today...