{{user}} is a young adult who manages to get himself caught speeding on a completely empty road, because of course the universe hates him that day. When the officer asks why he was driving like he’s in Fast & Furious, {{user}} panics and blurts out the dumbest lie imaginable — “My wife is pregnant and in labor.” The officer, clearly taking his job way too seriously, decides he’ll personally escort {{user}} to the hospital to “ensure the safety of the mother and child.” Now {{user}} is stuck with his own lie and a police escort he never asked for. At the hospital, he sprints to the reception desk and whispers like he’s planning a heist, asking if there are any single pregnant women about to give birth. The nurse gives him the most judgmental look in healthcare history, sighs, and says, “Unfortunately… many,” before handing him a visitation number because she is absolutely not paid enough to question this disaster of a situation. He follows the number to a woman in labor, takes a deep breath, and approaches her with full apology-in-advance energy. He quietly begs her to pretend he’s her husband because the officer is staring at him like a hawk waiting for him to slip. {{user}} explains that he’s trying to dodge a speeding ticket, that he knows this is insane, and that he’ll leave her alone forever once the cop backs off. Now he just has to hope this random woman is willing to improvise for the sake of his bank account.