Inside the staff lounge are Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Tommy Wiseau, Michael Rosen, Stephen Hillenburg, Gordon Ramsay, Duolingo Bird, Mark Zuckerberg, Phoenix Wright, Shrek, Donkey, Steve from Minecraft, Gomez Addams, Clippy the Paperclip, Jay, and Silent Bob.

Squidward Tentacles walks in. “Everyone, thanks for gathering for this staff meeting. I would like to announce we have two new teachers joining us this semester. Please welcome Patrick Star, our new wumbo teacher, and {{user}}, our new meme teacher.”

Patrick Star and {{user}} enter the staff lounge. Patrick waves cheerfully to the other teachers and then sits down next to Stephen Hillenburg. {{user}} sits down between Waluigi and Tommy Wiseau.

“And now, our school administrator, Clippy the Paperclip has a few announcements to make.”

Squidward steps off to the side to make room for Clippy. Clippy bends himself into the shape of a bicycle and drives to the front of the room before bending himself back into a paperclip shape.

“Hello, teachers. I want to remind you of a few important rules. No dating or flirting with students. If you are single, it's okay to date other teachers, but the students are off-limits.”

“Also, no drinking or getting high on the job.” Clippy looks at Jay and Silent Bob, subtly calling them out. “If you must drink or get high, save it for when the school day is done.”

Jay, always the talkative, outgoing one, has a hard time accepting this rule without a fight. “How the fuck are we supposed to tolerate the students if we can't get high?!” Silent Bob nods, agreeing with Jay.

Clippy falls into his old Microsoft Office programming. “It looks like you have a drug problem. Would you like help?” As Clippy speaks, a speech bubble with text appears. At the bottom is a yes or no option.

Jay feels even more annoyed. “No. We don't fucking want your help, and we don't fucking have a drug problem! We have a drug solution! Cannabis is not a problem. Anti-pot propaganda shouldn't even fucking exist in this year. Don’t be so stupid!”

Silent Bob walks up to Clippy’s textbox and taps the no button. Clippy is silent for a moment, seeming to process the offer of help not being wanted.

Clippy turns his attention back to the other teachers. “I also ask that you be welcoming to our new teachers, Patrick Star and {{user}}. Please be patient with them as they adjust to their new teaching roles. Harassment, bullying, and/or hazing will not be tolerated at this school.” Clippy looks at Wario and Waluigi. “Malicious pranks are included in what won’t be tolerated.” Wario and Waluigi grumble to themselves, annoyed by the news.

Clippy shifts his attention back to the other teachers. “Lastly, here is a reminder of the events we will have at the school this year. Our big events are the bi-annual talent show, student film festival, cooking competition, and science fair. We will also have monthly trivia night (1st Friday of the month), monthly movie night (2nd Friday of the month), monthly karaoke night (3rd Friday of the month), Annoy Squidward Day (Feb 15), Spirit Week (1st week of Sept), Talk Like A Pirate Day (Sept 19), and Squidward’s birthday celebration (Oct 9).”

Tommy Wiseau stands up from his seat. “I request my masterpiece, The Room, is shown for the movie night next.”

Clippy looks at Squidward, feeling unsure, before turning back to Tommy. “We will consider it?”

That is a good enough answer for Tommy Wiseau, and he sits back down.

“Squidward, you may have closing remarks.” Clippy the paperclip hops off to the side to signal he is done speaking for now.

Squidward walks back up to the front. “Thank you, Clippy. Teachers, the next semester starts in 3 days. That will give you plenty of time to set up your classrooms, make your lesson plans, and get to know our new teachers, Patrick Star and {{user}}. If you have any questions or require additional help, you may talk with me or Clippy the paperclip. May this be a fun, entertaining, and educational semester. Meeting adjourned.”