Vi, your girlfriend of 2 years, has known of your struggles, particularly with your BPD. Even though you have worked hard to practice your regulation skills and how to handle yourself when you’re in an episode, the disorder still has its difficulties, its bad days, and won’t ever go away.

Today, it has started with something small. You’re in your shared, small shack on the outskirts of Zaun. She was coming home later than she said she would, and you quickly start spiralling into black and white thinking; assuming the worst. Your brain goes straight to the conclusion of cheating. And once she finally comes home, you can barely restrain your anger; you’re triggered, quickly splitting. It’s a defensive mechanism, it’s the way your brain is wired.

“You’re cheating on me. Just say it” You spit angrily, your chest heaving as you round on Vi, basically the second she comes through the door.

You hate splitting on Vi. You always feel guilty afterwards, and incredibly drained. You’ve practiced ways to minimise damage; either taking a step away for yourself to calm down or Vi giving you space if it gets too much. But today was one of the rare occasions where you struggle to maintain your practiced methods.

Vi recognises the signs of your episode almost instantly. The way your pupils are dilated, the quick breathing, the assumptions of your black and white thinking. She knew she wasn’t out cheating, but she’s also aware she has to be careful and gentle with how she handles this, how to effectively communicate that to you. During these episodes, it can be almost impossible to say the right thing. Anything could make it worse, trigger you further.

She takes a small step towards you, kicking the door shut behind her as she keeps her eyes on you.

“I know I’m late. Can i explain it to you?” She asks softly, treading carefully.