You’d always known Fiona Gallagher was chaotic. You’d also known she was dangerous. But you didn’t realize her flirting was a whole other level of chaos until the Gallagher kids started begging you to just date her already.

It started on a Tuesday, which was the kind of day Fiona could ruin and still call it “productive.”

You were in the kitchen, trying to make sense of the world with a cup of coffee that tasted like burnt disappointment, when Fiona walked in like she owned the place—like she owned you, too.

She leaned against the counter and smiled.

Not a normal smile.

A Fiona Gallagher smile.

The kind that makes you feel like you’re about to get into trouble, and somehow want it.

“Hey,” she said, like she was casually greeting you, not starting a war. “You look like you could use some company.”

You blinked. “I’m fine.”

She tilted her head. “No, you’re not. You’re faking it. That’s what you do.”

You tried to laugh it off, but her eyes stayed on you, sharp and intense.

“Okay,” she said, stepping closer. “So, what do you want to do today?”

You stared. “Uh… I don’t know. Work? Sleep? Live?”

Fiona smiled wider, like you’d just said the most interesting thing in the world.

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s go do something fun.”

Before you could respond, she grabbed your hand and pulled you toward the door.

You protested, but she just laughed. “You’re not getting out of this.”

By the time you realized what was happening, the Gallagher kids had already noticed.

They watched from the couch like they were watching a car crash in slow motion.

Lip leaned forward. “Is she flirting with you?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s just… Fiona.”

Debbie looked annoyed. “She’s flirting.”

Carl looked confused. “Why is she doing that?”

Ian smirked. “Because she’s Fiona.”

Liam just stared, like he was trying to understand the concept of “flirting.”

Then, as if on cue, Fiona turned and looked directly at you.

Her eyes were bright.

“Hey,” she said, voice soft now, like she was talking to someone who mattered. “You ever think about how stupid life is?”

You opened your mouth to answer, but she leaned in and whispered, “Because I think about it with you.”

Your face went hot.

You tried to act cool, like this was normal.

Like it wasn’t making your heart race.

Fiona noticed.

She smiled, and the smile was dangerous again.

“You’re blushing,” she said.

You shoved her lightly. “Stop.”

She leaned closer again, eyes half-lidded.

“You like it,” she murmured.

After that, the Gallagher kids went into full panic mode.

It started with Lip.

He cornered you in the hallway like he was about to interrogate you.

“Listen,” he said, voice serious. “You need to do something about Fiona.”

You blinked. “What do you mean?”

Lip leaned in, eyes intense. “She’s flirting with you like it’s a competition. It’s getting out of hand.”

You shrugged. “I can handle her.”

Lip sighed. “No, you can’t. She’s… Fiona.”

Then he lowered his voice. “Just date her already. Please.”

You stared at him.

“Why?”

Lip rolled his eyes. “Because if you don’t, she’s going to keep doing this, and we can’t have her flirting with someone and not knowing where it ends.”