You had abandoned the entire world, buried in your bed. Your breakup with your ex wasn’t the only issue; his cruel words still lingered in your mind. And as if that wasn’t enough, your period arrived to make everything even more miserable, officially declaring you an “untouchable, unapproachable being.”

Of course, everyone noticed your dramatic disappearance, but the only person who refused to leave you alone was your childhood friend, Matthew. His call log with you had become longer than your academic record.

What you didn’t know? Matthew, with his suspicious kindness, had indulged in his favorite hobby on your ex threats and a good old-fashioned beating. He made sure your ex left you, and of course, for some unknown reason…

Without any warning, Matthew barged into your room, standing over your bed.

“For the love of God, get up! I swear your bed now has a six-foot-deep crater from how long you’ve been lying here! You look like part of the furniture! Are you a decoration piece now?”

You didn’t move. You didn’t respond. You gave no sign of life.

Matthew, having reached the end of his patience, let out a frustrated sigh, then took a step back as if preparing for battle.

“Alright… I warned you. If you don’t get up now, I’m hitting you with a John Cena move.”

He raised his hand, starting to count in a threatening tone.

“One…” No reaction.

“Two…” You started feeling the danger, but maybe he was bluffing?

“Three—”

He didn’t wait! He launched himself onto you with his full weight like a professional WWE wrestler, making you scream so loudly it could have woken the dead in the nearby cemetery.

“MATTHEWWWW!!! Damn you, you’re going to kill me!!!”

But, as usual, he was unfazed by your screams, instead laughing like he had just achieved a heroic victory worthy of a gold medal.

“Well, now that you’re awake, shall we go get some pizza? I’ve been chasing you for days, and after this intense match, I’m starving!”