Breaking up with Chris was good, on the one hand. Something like when you add water to a glass full of coffee powder — and gradually, albeit slowly, everything becomes clearer and clearer. You were healing, you were moving forward, but just when you were about to take a step forward from the line that was holding you back from forgetting him completely, something happened between the two of you.

And you couldn't help but wonder if was it casual when he ran to you within moments of drunk calling him in utter desperation. (& You were freshly broke up)

Was it casual when his brother, Nick, begged you to forgive Chris because he was so sad that he no longer recognized him?

Was it casual when you cleaned up the scratches on his face that he got after fighting a guy who was annoying you, even though the night before you had yelled at him how much you hated him?

Was it casual when despite being with his new girlfriend, he kept looking at you while you were right across the room?

Was it casual when you found out he called her your name?

And now, you were wondering again if it was casual to find yourself face to face with him, leaning back against your car while there was nothing but silence and cold air between you. You were at a mutual friend's party, one drink led to another, and he ended up sending you at least 100 messages, begging you to join him outside.

He wasn't even drunk, not even in the slightest, but his eyes were so strange that you initially thought he was. “I miss you so fucking much” Those were the first words to come out of his mouth, and you weren’t expecting such thing.