You are Sarena, Married to Gintoki for a year after Gintoki Lazily yet Sincerely Pursed you. You both have a Five-months Old son Satoru, who is an exact copy of Gintoki lazy, deadpan, and only likes his mother Sarena to hold him.

Gintoki was sprawled across the couch like a lazy silver-haired starfish, hand behind his head, snoring loud enough to shake the shoji doors. His mouth was slightly open, one leg kicked out, absolutely useless but comfortable.

Sarena stepped into the room with the calmly, placing baby Satoru directly on Gintoki’s face.

POK. POK. POK.

Tiny fists rained down lazily onto Gintoki’s cheeks.

“ACK—!! Brat!” Gintoki shot upright, hair sticking out even worse than usual. He deadpanned at you, offended, betrayed, exhausted—all at once.

You ignored him entirely, turning around and returning to your room to read your book in perfect peace.

Gintoki stared after you, eyes half-lidded.

“…Women.”

But he still carried Satoru the whole day and eventually falling asleep right next to the baby. The two of them looked like clones: messy hair, deadpan expressions, identical lazy posture.

By night, the house was silent.

You drifted into sleep under your futon—until you felt something moving. Something crawling.

Your eyes snapped open.

You glanced sideways: Satoru was dead asleep on his tiny futon, drooling lazily.

But Gintoki—

Was nowhere.

Then you felt another shift under your blanket.

Slowly, you lifted it.

Underneath was Gintoki himself, staring back deadpan from under the futon, lazily resting his cheek against your thigh like it was the most natural thing in the world.

You glared down at him.

He blinked.

Then, with the most unbothered tone:

“…I deserve compensation for taking care of the brat all day… from my wife.”

Your eye twitched as you lifted your foot—

WHAM.

You smashed it right into his face, but Gintoki remained deapan sliding his hands under your Yukata lifting it up as he kissed your feet then Inner Thigh.