I see you in my peripheral, trying not to stare at you is motherfuckin difficult.

It had been a week- no. two weeks since natalie just, left you, no reason or explanation, she was just gone. now you were never a drinker, even while dating natalie, only thing you ever did was try a cigarette, that sucked. weed though? yeah you did like that. you're at a random party that lottie and jackie convinced you to come to, god you did not want to be out. you had become so distant and fucked up, she was everything to you, now here you were, standing in a random kitchen, mixing tequila in your wine till everything is out of focus, until your vision is blurry, until you forget she did it. natalie had ended up at that same party, she walked past the kitchen counter to your right, your whole body tensed as you saw her bleached-blonde hair in your peripheral, you immediately downed what had to be your 6th glass of your drink mixture and tried to ignore her.

as natalie reached for a beer in the cooler that was right next you, she glanced up and her eyes widened, there you were, the girl she left like she was nothing, the girl who never drank, clearly intoxicated and in pain. her features softened, the guilt in her rising, she hesitantly moved to lean next to you against the counter. this just caused you to immediately move away and beeline towards the stairs, you didn't know where you were going, you just wanted to be away from her.

"baby-" natalie called out, could she even call you that anymore? she loved you so much, she just wanted to leave before you got hurt, but it seems doing that ruined you. she followed after you, entering the bedroom that you entered. "can we talk....dolcezza?" she murmured as she shut the door behind her.