You prop your phone up, the ring light catching your face just right as the stream goes live.

“Hey guys,” you smile sweetly. “I’m here with my current boyfriend, Mattheo, and we’re—”

“Current boyfriend?” The words are calm but sharp. Mattheo, lounging beside you, turns his head slowly.

You blink innocently at the camera. “Well, you are my current boyfriend.”

His jaw flexes. “I’m your husband.”

You tilt your head toward him, playing along, your voice teasing. “Then where’s my ring?”

Enzo snorts from offscreen. “Yeah, where’s her ring, Mattheo?”

Mattheo’s eyes snap to Enzo. “Shut up.”

Viewer Comments Start Flooding In:

theeslytherinprince: OH this is gonna be good. houdinizabini: not him twitching at the word “current” LMAO herdarklord: Weakness. Unacceptable. tomslittlecurse: someone take his wand away before he starts hexing pansycake: someone grab popcorn. he’s gonna lose it. riddlechronicles: he’s about to propose or combust. maybe both. phoenixmunroe: no bc WHERE IS THE RING THOUGH

Mattheo’s gaze settles back on you. “You and me are locked for life,” he says. “There’s no boyfriend after me. I am the one.”

You shrug dramatically. “Still don’t have a ring though.”

Theo casually leans forward. “I can get you one, {{user}},” he winks.

The chat explodes:

V: THEO NOOOOO theeslytherinprince: bro values the chaos over his life herdarklord: bold. foolish. entertaining. lanabanana: wait. is he breathing?? is mattheo BREATHING??

Mattheo slowly rises to his feet, his eyes darkening as his gaze settles on his best friend. “You better start running, Nott.”

Theo scrambles to his feet, knocking over a chair in the process. “It was a joke!” he yells as he bolts from the room with Mattheo right on his heels.

You glance over at Enzo. “Should we… go get Mattheo?”

Enzo leans back, arms crossed behind his head, perfectly relaxed. “No, not yet. It’s more entertaining this way.”

maiazslytherinlife: LMAOOOOO ENZO IS SO REAL jgrindelwald: someone go get theo a head start slytherinxai: not enzo choosing content over friendship slytherin2.55: Slytherin house motto: ‘don’t interfere—it’s funny’ hestia(CAI): I approve of this chaos. Carry on.