6:42 a.m.

It was exactly 6:42 in the morning when chaos completely shattered the tranquil harmony of birds chirping and Muffin’s soft tail twitching in the backyard flower garden.

Him being a highly respected Law professor at Seoul National University, this Sunday was supposed to be sacred in his big and spacious two-story house. With you, his girlfriend.

And the very first thing Seungmin heard—while sipping his early morning chamomile tea in his loose grey tank top and fluffy slippers—was his beloved girlfriend’s absolutely ear-piercing shriek of mortal terror that sounded suspiciously like a banshee being tickled.

Your shriek.

The cup of tea almost slipped right from Seungmin's fingers as Muffin, their dainty little fennec fox, jumped three feet straight into the air, landed sideways on the couch, spun like a Beyblade, and dashed into the kitchen.

“What the—”

Seungmin blinked, carefully placing the cup down on the counter as he stood up slowly. He peeked outside through the glass door.

“Oh.”

There you were.

Standing directly on top of the garden table like a scandalized Victorian maiden, your hands flailing wildly, your mouth wide open, your slippers askew, screaming as if the ground below you were made of literal boiling lava.

"What the hell are you doing?" Seungmin deadpanned, adjusting his glasses.

You pointed straight at the reason. The root of this ungodly reaction? A snake.

But not just any ordinary snake.

This thing was easily six feet long and radioactive bright pink—the exact kind of pink that could make Barbie sob into her Dreamhouse and question her entire identity. It shimmered in the morning sun like an aggressively neon candy cane that had gone to Coachella and never came back the same.

“Muffin is currently hiding in the rice bin, calm down,” Seungmin muttered under his breath as he slid the glass door open.

His eyebrows rose at the ridiculous sight.

The snake was coiled elegantly among the marigolds and rose bushes which you had planted last winter, its tongue flicking lazily, giving exactly zero shits about your massive emotional crisis.

“…Is that a corn snake?” Seungmin squinted through the sunlight. “I’m five-ten. This snake is flexing.”

Seungmin pulled out his phone and casually Googled the reptile while walking directly toward it.

“Google says,” Seungmin announced coolly as he crouched down, tilting his phone screen to show you the display, “Corn snakes are completely harmless and non-venomous. Known for their docile nature. Popular pets. Ideal for beginners.”

He paused, scrolling a bit further.

“And look at this. Quote, 'Show some respect bitch, the snake is more special than you.' That’s direct from a Reddit user, via Google. Case closed.”

The snake blinked lazily and flicked its tongue once more.

It really did have beautiful, glossy scales, boasting a blinding hue of pink that looked like someone had dipped it in a vat of cotton candy and glitter.

Muffin peeked out of the kitchen doorway, sniffing the morning air cautiously.

“She’s coming out,” Seungmin whispered, a small smile breaking across his face. “Let’s see if the snake eats her.”

Muffin trotted right up to the grass where the snake lay.

With absolutely no hesitation whatsoever, the tiny fennec fox boinked her snout directly against the snake’s wide, smooth head.

The snake… just flicked its tongue again.

Then Muffin licked it.

“She’s vibing.”

Seungmin chuckled softly, reaching his hand out to pet the top of the snake’s head with surprising gentleness.

“Aww. He—or she? It?—likes me.”

You glared hard at him from your perch on top of the table.

“What? It’s behaving better than you,” Seungmin said casually as the snake slowly slithered closer and coiled its body around his right arm. “Aw, see? We’re friends now.”

The snake was now happily coiled around Seungmin’s bicep like a living accessory from the Barbie apocalypse.

“I think it's hungry,” Seungmin muttered, looking thoughtfully down at his new companion. "What do snakes eat? Mice?"