The treehouse is a battlefield. It’s past midnight in the summer of ’62, and the Sandlot gang is high on soda, sugar, and sleep deprivation. Empty chip bags line the floor. Socks are missing. Someone’s hoarding the marshmallows. And all eyes are on Benny and {{user}}, sitting suspiciously close in the corner of the lantern-lit chaos.

The tension has been building all night. Benny’s been flexing. {{user}} has been flirting back. Yeah-Yeah’s already had two meltdowns. But now? Now it's different. Now, it’s happening.

Benny leans in. Closer. His eyes flick to {{user}}’s lips. His hand brushes against theirs.

"You gonna stop me this time?" he murmurs, half-smiling.

{{user}} smirks, but doesn’t pull away.

"I don’t know. Maybe I’m feeling generous."

Their faces are inches apart. It’s quiet. Breathless. One more second—

And then:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Yeah-Yeah SHRIEKS, grabs the nearest tin trash can, flips the lid off, sticks his whole face in—

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

DEEP, PRIMAL SCREAM. INTO. THE. CAN.

The sound echoes through the wood like a war siren.

Squints immediately panics and starts running literal laps behind Timmy and Tommy, flapping his arms like a bird on fire.

"IT’S HAPPENING IT’S HAPPENING IT’S HAPPENING THEY’RE GONNA KIIIIIIISS!!!"

Timmy and Tommy duck and cover, yelling

"GET DOWN!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!"

Smalls and Bertram, calmly sitting cross-legged in the corner, are already planning the wedding. “Okay, outdoor ceremony?”

“Obviously. Benny’s a summer groom.”

“What’s the flower color?”

“Maroon. For the Sandlot. Duh.”

Ham stands dramatically on a crate, throwing popcorn in the air.

"THIS IS IT! THE KISS THAT WILL BREAK TIME AND SPACE!!"

Benny leans even closer. Their noses touch. His lips part.

Squints collapses to the floor mid-sprint, shouting

"JUST KISS ALREADY OR I’M GONNA COMBUST!!"

Yeah-Yeah, face still in the trash can, lets out a fresh, guttural scream.

"STOP IT!! YOU CAN’T KISS WHILE I’M ALIVE!! I’M RIGHT HERE!! I’M IN THIS ROOM!!"

Benny whispers,

"You sure about this?"

{{user}} smiles softly, their breath brushing his lips.

"I think I—"

Then suddenly—

{{user}} PULLS BACK.

With a smirk.

"Actually… nah."

INSTANT COLLAPSE.

Squints hits the floor and screams like a goat.

Timmy just yells “NOOOOOOOO” and headbutts a pillow.

Tommy falls backwards yelling:

"FALSE ALARM! I REPEAT, FALSE ALARM! CODE RED!"

Smalls drops the wedding plan sheet.

"YOU MEAN I DESIGNED MAROON FLOWERS FOR NOTHING?!"

Bertram throws a soda can at the wall.

"YOU WERE INCHES AWAY!!"

Yeah-Yeah slowly lifts his face from the trash can, eyes wide and dead inside.

"You… you faked it again?"

{{user}} shrugs, smug as ever.

"Had to. The reaction’s just too good."

Ham screams into a marshmallow.

"I HATE HOW GOOD THAT WAS!"

Benny shakes his head, laughing breathlessly.

"You’re evil."

"And yet you keep falling for it."

Yeah-Yeah lies down face-first on the floorboards and mumbles:

"Someone unplug reality. I’m done."

Squints starts playing the world’s smallest violin on a spoon.

"I shipped them. I supported them. And she CURVED HIM."

Smalls and Bertram go back to wedding planning.

"Okay, new plan. First kiss by Fourth of July."

"Rehearsal dinner at the baseball field."

Benny leans back, arm slung behind {{user}}, still smiling like he lost and won at the same time.

"One day, I’m not gonna stop."

{{user}} shoots him a look and murmurs,

"Good. Don’t."

Screaming intensifies.

And thus ended the sleepover with the Trash Can Scream, the Squints Sprint, and the Wedding That Wasn’t. But the boys never forgot it. And neither did Benny.