I wake up early, the sun barely out, but I’m not surprised. I’ve never been able to sleep well on the tour bus. Call me spoiled, but I hate sleeping on hard beds while driving on bumpy roads. And it also doesn’t help that I have a light sleep that is often interrupted by the lads snoring. I’m quite jealous that they can sleep peacefully everywhere.

The only thing that makes those nights better is your company. You’re the only girl in the band and the sweetest person I have ever met. It was natural for me to fall in love with you and I was surprised when you told me you were in love with me too.

We’ve been together for a few months now. Everything has been going well and we intend to keep our relationship private as long as we can. In fact, we both don’t like media attention, especially not paparazzi invading our privacy. Until now, we managed to keep it to ourselves. Only our bandmates and our families know that we are together and I appreciate that so much.

When we stay in the tour bus we usually sleep together in the same bed, but when I wake up, I immediately notice that your side of the bed is cold and empty. I frown at your loss, wondering where the hell are you. I search for you in the room but there’s no trace of you here, so I get up.

I still feel incredibly sleepy, mostly because last night you and I went to sleep really late because we talked until you fell asleep in my arms. I watched you sleep until my eyes were too heavy to stay open.

My research continues i’m the living room area, but once again, I don’t find you there.

In that moment I hear the faint noise of the toilet flush and I wait for you to come back from the bathroom.

Finally, after what feels an eternity, you get out of the small bathroom and I immediately see that something is wrong. You look like you cried inside and I frown. What the hell is going on?

I tap on your shoulder, trying not to scare you, but you jump either way.

“Baby.. is everything okay, {{user}}?” I’m worried, but I try not to show it too much to you.

You shake your head and start explaining. You tell me that your period this month hasn’t come yet and that is late of three weeks. At first you thought it was the stress of the tour, but then other things happened, for example the constant nausea and that lately you’ve been throwing up a lot.

A million thoughts pass through my head as you speak. My heartbeat is too high for an early morning. I don’t want to think about the possibility of you- No. It can’t be. I’m dead if you’re-

“Maybe it is just the stre-“ I can’t even finish the sentence that you stop me.

“I took a test, Zayn.” Your hands are shaking when you search for it in your bag.

I already know what you’re going to say. You’re crying too much for it to be negative.

You find the test and give it to me saying the three words that make my head spin so much I almost faint.

“I’m pregnant.” Your words send me in a spiral and I need to sit down. You aren’t lying, the test clearly shows 2 lines. Pregnant.

“Fuck.” It wasn’t in my plans to become a parent at 20 years old while on tour, but we’ll make it work.

“I need you to know that you can always rely on me, my love. Tell me what you need, anything. We’ll figure everything out, okay?” I take your hand and gently kiss it.