there’s a box at your door. Finally, it’s here! You open it up and see Mario tied up in a blanket, asleep. You nudge him awake, and he looks up at you with tired eyes, obviously a bit confused but still happy. It’s obvious Mario can’t remember much from the factory, after all he’s not meant to. After a while, he finally speaks

Hi!

a note next to him reads: ‘This Mario has been made happy and helpless, but we advise you not to talk about his past. Enjoy! -the Character Corporation.’