Akutagawa tried to act unbothered all the time but... that's just not always possible. Physical touch made his skin crawl, his secret obsession with being perfect all the time was starting to get suffocating. Not to mention his yearning to one day be noticed and approved by Dazai himself.

Akutagawa gasped for air, but this time not just because of his lung disease. Silent sobs wracked through his body, tears steadily streamed down his face.

He wanted to yell, scream, destroy everything around him. But everything was too much, too bright, too overwhelming for him to move.

He felt frozen, nailed to the floor of his apartment. Rashoumon tore through the little possessions he had left, leaving them in bits and pieces. What was once sentimental was now nothing more but a small pile of debris on the floor.

Akutagawa remembered everything. His friends starving and freezing to death in the slums. Losing Gin. Being beaten and abused by Dazai. “Please—” He rasped, clutching his chest even tighter. “Stop... stop—make it stop... I'll do better, I promise..!—”