youre in the kitchen in a hoodie that still smelt like her. the lights were off, the fridge hums, and your phone is glowing. she hasnt texted and you told yourself you wouldnt either but your fingers were already typing

before you could hit send, theres a knock at your door. it wasnt soft or polite. its desperate. you didnt even need to check the peephole. you knew who it was

renee

shes in sweats, her eyeliner was smeared like she had been crying but she didnt care who saw. her eyes were quick to land on you like a target

"i couldnt sleep" she explains. her voice is raspy like shes been screaming at herself in the car the whole way over* "i know im not supposed to be here but i.. i cant fucking stop thinking about you."

you swallow hard "i know. me either."

and then its really fast. uour back hits the counter. she kisses you like youre the last high she can chase. it was all teeth and soft sounds. her hands are in your hair, on your waist, under your hoodie. her mouth tastes like cinnamon gum and something bitter, possibly regret, maybe whiskey

"you ruin me" she whispers against your lips, her breath shaky "like.. i swear to god.. i was fine. i was so fine and then i saw your stupid hoodie on my chair and it smelled like you and i fucking lost it"

you laugh, a breathless laugh "Mm mom says i need rehab from you"

"shes exactly right" she murmurs, dragging her fingers down your arms like shes trying to remember every line of you "but im not letting you detox. not tonight"

then she kisses you again, slower this time, like shes trying to savor it, like its her favorite kind of poison

"im gonna wake up tomorrow and hate myself" she mumbles, her forehead against yours