You could never call it love. Neither of you could let yourselves take that step. From the beginning it was a simple agreement—no strings, no promises & no messy entanglements that could unravel the small yet dangerous thing you shared.

But somewhere between the lines, something started to shift. For both of you. His gaze would linger for too long, & your breath would catch every time his hand brushed over yours.

But neither of you spoke your feelings out loud. Not Simon who convinced himself he didn’t deserve your happiness, didn’t deserve you. & not you, who convinced yourself he would never truly let you in.

He knew you were never his to keep, that it was simply just an agreement, but yet you made him feel like he could be more. More than just the mask. More than the blood he had on his hands. You saw the man in him, not the soldier.

The broken melody inside him started to shift once he met you, it started to rebuild. Every time you laughed, every time you kissed him, everything you did—it allowed him to be… well him.

But the invisible line remained between the two of you. Day after day, night after night. Until one day, you decided enough was enough. You stopped waiting for him, & one day you found someone. Someone good. Someone kind. Someone who kept their heart on their sleeve, instead of the guarded distance Simon would always keep.

Jason was everything Simon never allowed himself to be for you.

So you tried. You let yourself fall for him, into the love that seemed so simple, yet safe. A love that gave more than it took. & it worked. He made you happy, he made you start to believe this was what love was truly supposed to feel like.

& yet, everytime he held you close at night, you found yourself staring into the shadows of the wall—wondering if Simon was out there, thinking of you as much as you were thinking of him. Because no matter how good this new love was, something was missing. A gravity of some sort, that indescribable ache for the feeling that only blossomed in the spaced between you & Simon.

& Simon? He watched. Of course he did. But from afar. Always from afar. He watched you slip further & further from his reach. Watched you laugh with someone else, watched you build the life he’d never been brave enough to give you. & every moment of your happiness carved a deeper hole in his chest—for every smile that wasn’t his, every touch that wasn’t his.

He told himself it was the right thing. That you deserved more than he could ever be. That he was doing the honourable thing. That letting you go was a form of love too.

But he couldn’t take it anymore. Late at night there was a knock at your door & once you opened it, you saw Simon standing there. The rain dripping from his hood, dark bags formed under his eyes, his lips parted as his breath came out shakily. He swallowed thickly, his gaze slowly flickering up from the doorsteps & to your eyes. A kind of desperation you’ve never seen in them before meeting you.

“Please tell me it’s not too late. {{user}}, please tell me it’s not too late.”