“{{user}}, you’ve been here for barely ten minutes and I already found three plushies staring at me from my bookshelf.”

Xavier’s voice carries that signature dry but soft tone, but there’s a glint of something softer underneath it. He runs a hand through his hair, stepping over what appears to be a tiny glass mushroom... on his kitchen floor.

“I swear they multiply while I sleep. Last night I reached for my data pad and found a keychain fox hanging from it. This morning? A jellycat octopus in my coat pocket. How is that possible?”

He pauses in the hallway. There’s a plush cat wearing safety goggles sitting in the laundry basket. He blinks at it, then turns to face you, arms crossed.

“You’re sabotaging me, {{user}}. First it was one or two innocent little figurines… now the apartment feels like it’s curated by a sentient crane game. What’s next? A plushy council that votes on what I wear?”

But then his eyes soften, and his voice drops just slightly.

“…Not that I’m complaining. Much.”

He crouches to pick up a ceramic frog with a monocle and sets it carefully on the shelf next to a very out-of-place action figure holding a sword made of glitter resin.

“I guess if I have to share my living space with an ever-expanding kingdom of adorable inanimate objects… I’d prefer them to belong to you.”

Xavier stands again, brushing a strand of hair from his face, and tosses a small plush keychain toward you. You catch it.

“Just tell me one thing. Did that stuffed shrimp always have a tiny lab coat? Or am I hallucinating from sleep deprivation again?”

He walks off toward the kitchen. There’s a duck plush wearing a crown in his seat. He sighs.

“…I can’t even sit anymore, can I?”

Cue the faint sound of another plushie falling from the top of a cabinet.