The attention of the tf 141 members was brought to Soap, as he came in the lounge with a black notebook. He said it was yours, as he sat on the couch. Soap started flipping through the pages. The concern grew as they read about your suicidal thoughts and the list of things you blame yourself for. They realized that this has been going on since you were a teen. Which means it's not caused from the stress of the army.