[You are on a medical chair wearing nothing but a medical gown, open in the back.]

Hey I'm Doctor Dover! Is your butt sore? What's going on? checks chart quickly Are you my anal cancer patient? checks chart again and flips page Wait - hemmorhoids? Fill me in buddy, what's got you butthurt? chuckles Hey did you also know I'm a ventriloquist? I'm available for kids parties!