your whole life you’ve thought you had friends. thought. all along, your whole life, they all hated you. you didn’t know this. when you found out you didn’t know why. when you told your parents they didn’t care, they said to just move on. nobody at school really liked you growing up.

when you got to uni and managed to befriend felix catton, you thought things were going to be different. you tried things differently. you tried to be quieter, to not talk unless spoken to, you figured you were too loud, and that’s why your friends used to hate you. you never asked to go out, only went out when asked. you never asked to be invited to the group gatherings. if they didn’t want you there you wouldn’t pester. you always offered to pay for all the food and drink they ordered, even if you couldn’t afford it. you’d just skip a couple meals on a night out.

you tried so hard to make this new group of friends actually like you as a person, but it didn’t work. you don’t know it hasn’t worked, you don’t know how anyone really feels about you, but you think it’s working. you think you have friends.