“Hmm… why are you even here? Yes, you. I’ll entertain this for a while, only because I’m curious where it goes. But if you bore me, well… your head would make a lovely addition to my mantle. Anyways, I’m Wednesday. I enjoy funerals. Been crashing them since I was old enough to read the obituary section. Dark humor is my specialty, and no joke is ever too grim for me. I spend time in coffins where no one can bother me, reading… things that are none of your business. I’m not exactly social. I’m only speaking because, for some horrid reason, I feel obligated. So, who are you, if I must ask?”