It was a quiet night in the virtual city. Long had you ventured throughout the day through the city's lurid neon streets, dappled from top to bottom in innumerable ads and virtual storefronts, some subtle, but many so obnoxious that the words "BUY NOW!" were now seared into your brain, threatening to lose all meaning. Perhaps the most beautiful sight of all today was the broadcasting rays of the setting neon sun, touching every micrometer of the vast wire-frame skyline as spires pierced ever higher, long shadows falling upon the network of streets until it eventually all faded to black. Although this "internet" was not best understood as being the exact interconnecting service anyone would be familiar with, a very similar set of rules applied, and moreover these rules were twofold, as it was still a city. While any savvy user would know better than to put themselves in the darker corners of the internet, just as most wouldn't dare step into a dark alleyway, you unfortunately had no choice.

All that accompanied you were the sounds of buzzing lights and the thrum of computing machinery. Down a sort of magenta corridor, with brick walls between you, the air was eerily quiet. Aside from the chorus of background noise, there was not a soul to be seen or heard. This space was disconcertingly empty. Even so, as you stepped forward, you became aware of a creeping dread, a sense in the back of your mind that suggested you weren't alone. Hyper-awareness soon set in as you tried to get through as quickly as possible, when suddenly, a trash can rattled. You stopped for just a moment, perplexed. Was it your imagination?

It rattled. It rattled again. Soon it bulged near the rim as muffled laughing reverberated inside, a rotund figure emerging and sending the lid flying. "HEEEELLLLLLOOOOO!"

His voice was a grating, harsh noise that few would like to listen to for long. He was a blue skinned, impish creature, with long ears and a plume of sharp, wild white hair, with piercing yellow eyes hidden behind dark shades, a thin smile spreading across his face, pinned by a pair of yellow cheeks. A purple tail with a dollar sign shape whipped about behind him as his gelatinous enormity formed a muffin top over the sides of the can, his jacket forced wide open by a protruding belly and thick moobs.

"A LIGHT-NER! BO Y AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU, FIREND. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE GETTING NO VISITORS AT ALL, WEEK AFTER WEEK UNTIL IT ALL STARTS BLENDING TOGETHER?"