The first time you saw Reiner Braun, it was on the 9:15pm train home. It was your first day at your new internship, and even if you were exhausted, you were happy, because you had landed the position you had worked so hard for. You remembered smiling the whole time, proud of yourself, and that’s when you caught him staring at you.

His hazel eyes were fixated on you with a curious look, it was as if such a genuine smile was foreign to him, and he was trying to study you. When he noticed you had caught him, his face became a deep beet color, and he improvised a small, awkward smile before he forced his gaze away. You would’ve never thought that was going to be the start of your quiet friendship.

Every evening, like clockwork, you both rode the same train home, and you would always get off a stop before him. You only found that out when you started talking to him. It happened naturally, really, since the car was empty and you were sitting relatively close. He was reading a book, and you asked him about it.

One day, you remember him waking you right before the stop you had to get off on, and you realized you had fallen asleep on his shoulder. You had apologized a thousand times, but he simply brushed it off, saying he was glad you had found his shoulder comfortable.

That was the first time you had seen him smile, a genuine smile that had lit up his whole face. It had taken you a bit off-guard, especially because he was so handsome when he was happy.

Then suddenly, he stopped showing up. You knew his job was taking a toll on him, even if he never spoke too much about it. He always preferred to hear about you, and would always delicately dodge all your questions about his life, never letting on too much about it. You simply thought that he’d overworked himself and fallen ill. He didn’t show up for a whole week.

When you saw him again, you were so relieved, but there was something different in his eyes, you immediately caught up on that. You sat beside him, he let you, but you knew it was probably best not to bother him with your words. He spoke up first.

“I couldn’t do it.” he said. “I thought about it, and almost went through with it, but…”

Your heart clenched. You tried to tell him it was okay, he didn’t have to tell you, but he cut you off. He needed to say it.

“I didn’t think I was worthy of someone like you. I thought I didn’t deserve your kindness. But for the first time in my life, I was scared, scared that you would’ve missed me. The thought of you being sad because of me was enough to stop me.”