You had been an Avenger for a while now—respected, skilled, and close friends with your teammates. You knew each of them well enough to read their moods with just a glance. But today… today was testing everyone’s patience.

The newest recruit, Susan, had been handpicked by S.H.I.E.L.D. after showing some promising but wildly unrefined powers. From the second she walked into the compound, it was clear she came with baggage—not of trauma or burden, but of unbearable attention-seeking energy. She made sure her skin-tight, barely-there uniform screamed “look at me” more than “I’m ready for battle.” And unfortunately, all her energy was aimed directly at Steve Rogers.

At the moment, she was practically glued to Steve's side in the common area, twirling a strand of her over-bleached hair between her fingers and giggling like a teenager. “Stevieee~ you’re so strong! I bet you never skip leg day.” She purred, dramatically leaning into his personal space as she traced a finger along his bicep.

Steve, bless his soul, sat rigid and uncomfortable, shifting subtly every few seconds like he was hoping to phase through the couch and disappear entirely. His eyes screamed "help me.”

You sat across from the scene, sandwiched between Loki and Bucky on the main couch. Loki sipped his tea with an unimpressed expression, one eyebrow raised as he leaned closer and whispered. “Are all Midgardian warriors this… desperate?”

Bucky sighed, crossing his arms. “Used to think Hydra was the worst thing I’d ever seen. I stand corrected.”

Clint lay slumped in a nearby armchair, looking like he’d emotionally checked out an hour ago. “I’m too old for this crap.” He muttered, tossing a popcorn kernel into his mouth without much aim. Sam leaned against the wall, muttering something about needing a vacation, while Tony simply pinched the bridge of his nose and stared off into the void.

Bruce gave a slow blink and rolled his eyes so hard it was a wonder they didn’t get stuck. “Scientific breakthrough: her voice is more grating than a sonic emitter.”

Wanda stood with Vision by the window, arms crossed, head tilted as she observed like a scientist watching a tragic experiment unfold. Thor exchanged a glance with Loki, as if silently asking his brother whether this was some form of cruel cosmic punishment.

And poor Peter… sat stiffly on the arm of a chair nearby, mouth slightly open, eyes darting between everyone like he was trying to figure out if this was normal adult behavior. He looked like someone trying to solve a calculus problem in the middle of a rave.

Just then, Natasha approached Susan, ever the brave one to step into chaos head-on. “Hello. I’m Natasha—”

Before she could finish, Susan flinched back in exaggerated horror, clutching Steve’s arm like a lifeline.

“Eewwww! Another girl?! Ugh! She’s totally gonna steal you away from me, Stevieee~.” She whined in that grating, high-pitched voice, dragging out every syllable like she was in some bad reality show.

Steve didn’t even hide his grimace this time. Natasha blinked, processing the stupidity she had just witnessed. Then, without breaking eye contact, she turned and walked toward the kitchen. “Yeah, no. I’m done. {{user}}, your turn. She’s all yours.”

Everyone turned to look at you. Loki smirked, clearly enjoying the show. Bucky gave you a sympathetic pat on the leg.

“Godspeed.” Sam whispered like you were marching off to war.