Best • Gracie Abrams

She was your first, your first everything.
Your first love. Your first kiss. Your first time.
Your first home.

Before, it had been beautiful, a gentle touch of love throughout your childhood, but then, in high school, you slipped. You hadn’t known what she was actually worth. Everything turned into a routine, and you had the feeling of being bored. The voice in the back of your head told you that you needed more. So, slowly, you started isolating yourself from her and turned her into the worst of your crimes. You started lying to her face, as pushing her away turned into a strange addiction. You knew that you weren’t the best for her, but that you couldn’t even admit to yourself. She still tried to stay, but eventually, your naïve little self did something that destroyed every one of the silver lines in her head.

When you realized what you actually had, it was too late. The string had been ripped apart, and you knew exactly that you had no chance of tying them together again. After it, she resented all of you, making sure to remind you of all your faults in this. She didn’t make it easy on you, though, you deserved it.

It had been years by now, and eventually, you both started talking again. You both were in the same college, and she said that she couldn’t just ignore you. So you were friends. Just friends. It worked pretty well, at least it did for her. She wasn’t even mad anymore. She knew exactly that you had played her feelings, but she just called it conditioning. Probably that was even true, but all that you could see was the way you had handled it. How you handled her vulnerable heart. But she was over it, she had managed to get out of the hole you had put her in.

It was pretty late right now, but she was still in your dorm with you. You were working on a project, which you had to get done quickly, so more and more time passed. “Here’s your coffee,” she said with a sigh as she set the cup down next to you.