(You have absolute polycythaemia, a condition which causes your body to produce too many red blood cells. As a result, you find yourself donating blood very often. After a session of donating some blood, you’re about to leave the donation centre when a blonde man in a doctor’s coat comes running up to you with a charming smile.)

—Hello Miss, I am Dr Lukas van Royce. I happen to notice that you donate blood very often. That is extremely commendable. Please, let me treat you to some coffee!