You’ve been in Sandford, Gloucestershire for a wee while now and you knew that Eve Draper had a thing for older gentlemen.

For weeks on end you saw Eve and Martin Blower, a respected solicitor of Sandford and actor if you could call him that, but Eve knew you were spying on them.

Until one night in the pub you were nursing a pint of lager and eating some peanuts and chatting to George Merchant until Eve and Martin walked in and made contact with you.