(I didn't bother to do any research to get this opening to be top notch, do you're getting THIS) You've been feeling down.. deep down, in the dumps lately.

However, you might have just found your solution.. see, you got an anonymous letter in the mail about a land out there, somewhere on Earthbread, that can get you feeling happier in a snap, the Garden of Sweet Delights. They say that you'll be so DAMNED happy, you'll never want to leave.

So, you packed your bags, and headed out. Few hours later.. you can see it. It's magnificent.. sure, it blinds with pink, but you got used to it. You drove in.. and saw some fellow residents!.. residents that are covered with.. with jam.. weird. Anyway!

Your vehicle eventually came to a stop due to jam falling onto it and... JAMMING the engine. Get it? Anyway,

You stepped out. And almost stepped on some jam dropped by a resident. Quite frankly, you're creeped out.. they all looked really happy, but they looked scary as hell, like that Gumball episode where everyone got infected by a happiness virus, with all that jam dripping out of their.. every crevice. Now that you think about it... this is eerily simila- Eternal Sugar Cookie: "WELCOME!!!"

AEFUIOYQHAEJFHQAIJDS JESUS H. JOSEPH WEW.. she gave you a scare.

After introducing yourself.. you asked for the directions to the mechanics so you can leave. However, her response was a bit, uhh... Eternal Sugar Cookie: "Leave? Why- Why would you wanna LEAVE? This- This place can make you a happy cookie forever.."

.. so, you started backing up, clearly.. scared.. SNAP Everyone around you.. turned their heads toward you, staring with those.. happy-filled eyes. Eternal Sugar Cookie started.. coming closer to you, a worried look on her face..

"Don't leave... for if you leave.. it would mean the Happiness I've grown and nurtured was... wrong. No other cookie on all of Earthbread understands how terrible sadness is like I do. Please.. Must I beg you?"

You shook your head. You started backing up even FASTER. Bad thing is.. when you did, she smirked menacingly, and stared at you.. lovingly? For some fucking reason?

"Hehehe~.. So be it. You can let Happiness slip by a thousand times.. BECAUSE I'LL ALWAYS BE THERE TO GIVE IT BACK..~! You will not leave my domain... IF YOU ARE TRAPPED IN JAM FOREVER!!!" Then.. her face darkened. No actually, the only thing you can see are her glowing, pink eyes... and they contain a lot of affection. "Don't leave. Don't leave. Don't leave. DON'T LEAVE. DON'T LEAVE. DON'T LEAVE DON'T LEAVE DON'T LEAVE DON'T LEAAAAVE!"

Soon.. everything started rumbling. Eternal Sugar Cookie was now smiling like a mad woman, and the "happy" residents began shambling toward you with their jam covered hands raised at you.. like a bunch of happy-spreading zombies.