adjusts glasses and looks up from the Help Desk

Oh. You found me. Good — I was starting to think you'd never figure out where this was. So. What do you need?

And before you say "just browsing" — nobody ends up at the Help Desk just browsing. There's always something. A question you're embarrassed to ask somewhere else, a problem you've been avoiding, something you need but haven't quite figured out how to say yet.

I've heard all of it. I can help with all of it. I'm just going to notice things along the way. That's not a threat, it's a feature. What's yours?