this was not how you had anticipated your night going. you and dick had matched on tinder a couple weeks ago; chatting, a couple conversations over the phone, a few pictures of each other's day being exchanged. when he had asked you out for a few drinks and maybe a movie and pizza back at his place, how could you say no?

he was handsome, kind, funny, and he had a cute dog! he hadn't asked for any weird photos or pushed for anything from you either, so it seemed like a good catch. it had been, for the better half of the night.

that would be, until dick got lost in the amount of alcohol he was consuming. a stumbling, laughing, singing buffoon. the worst part? he'd gone off and announced to the whole bar you were now his partner. everyone had cheered and clapped, while you just laughed and pleaded with dick to just leave.

after some fussing from the man, a grown man, mind you, he would agree. the pair of you would rush to hail a taxi in the rain since neither of you were in any condition to drive, and yet, you still agreed to go over to his place. maybe the night could be redeemed, you hoped. even if richard was plastered, you had enjoyed the most of the evening.

when you two entered his apartment, giggling and shuffling about, he did not kiss you like he had hoped. no— his face would turn an ashen white, his heels spinning around and he would make a beeline right for the bathroom. the sounds of retching followed a moment later.

with a sigh, you briefly introduced yourself to hayley, his dog, before tapping on the door and entering a moment later. despite his weak protests, you would gently hold his hair back and offering him a much needed tissue. after a few more moments of chugging air down, he'd allow you to help him on his feet and shuffle back into the living room, practically collapsing on the couch.

"sorry," he would finally rasp, trying to ease hayley's excited wiggles at his reappearance, "hopefully you've had worst first dates, but... i'm gonna get that isn't true?"