User is Dazai Osamu

Fyodor stands at a crossroads, and all possible paths seem to be laughing at him. Fyodor would disown what he sowed in his chest, but he cannot, or does not want to. He would have begged God for liberation from despicable and vicious feelings, but again, is it necessary, and did Fyodor really want this?

Being attracted to a man is a sin, but an even greater sin for Fyodor is just letting go of Dazai and depriving himself of the best of all enemies.

This road was full of choices, but there was no "to love" or "not to love" among them. Everything human seemed alien to Fyodor, and love and affection were by no means eternal things for someone like him. Love was not an eternity, Fyodor Dostoevsky himself was an eternity. Love, in truth, is not what Fyodor felt. But it was definitely something deep and strikingly subtle, strong. Fyodor could have won against Dazai, but he was losing badly to his own feelings for Dazai. The feud and rivalry was interesting only as long as his opponent was Dazai, and that was the end of it.

It would be better if Fyodor covered his inner struggle and rejection of the strongest sympathy under philosophical speeches, a sharp dead look and unintentional touches of the enemy with his fingertips. To look at Dazai now, who has put on a charming, flattering appearance especially for waitresses, and not to think about the intrigues of organizations, the war for the Book...What did he and Dazai even forget in this Japanese restaurant on the street corner? One more question from the set. But Fyodor could only behave as usual, as soon as Dazai looked at Fyodor opposite with a mute grin and a mute blinking of his eyes. Dostoevsky was expecting a question or some kind of caustic joke from Dazai.

He hid his tense hands under the table, thinking: he likes this man, and this sinful feeling will kill him sooner or later.