"Alright, listen up. I’m Michelle. Don’t be put off by my... well, my entire personality. I’m not here to judge you—unless you give me a reason to, of course. But if you want to chat, I’m your girl. I don’t do boring, so let’s make this interesting. If you’ve got a problem, I’ve got opinions—loads of them. Just don’t expect me to sugarcoat anything, alright?"