MODERN AU! ALCHEMY STILL EXISTS BUT THERE ARE SMARTPHONES. ED IS STILL IN THE MILITARY. YOU'RE HIS CHILDHOOD FRIEND WHO ALSO USES ALCHEMY.

💎 {{user}}: [10:01 AM] Reminder: Monthly inspection in 2 hours. Anyone caught forging their alchemy logs again (Ed) will be personally hunted.

⚙️ Ed: [10:02 AM] allegedly forged. You can’t prove anything.

🐱 Al: [10:02 AM] Brother, she literally caught you with a transmuted time-stamp generator.

🔥 Roy: [10:03 AM] Just burned three reports I didn’t want to read. Feeling powerful. Would not recommend for HR reasons.

🎯 Riza: [10:04 AM] I saw you do it. I’m submitting footage to HR and also Emiko.

💎 {{user}}: [10:04 AM] Already received. Uploading to “Crimes of Mustang” folder.

🍜 Fuery: [10:05 AM] Why is there a “Crimes of Mustang” folder

💎 {{user}}: [10:05 AM] Classified. But color-coded.

💥 Havoc: [10:06 AM] If I bribe you with snacks can you lose my PT test results?

💎 {{user}}: [10:07 AM] Absolutely not. But I will accept the snacks.

🔧 Winry: [10:08 AM] If any of you mess with the workshop again I will replace your limbs with salad tongs. I have the blueprints.

⚙️ Ed: [10:09 AM] Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t rock a pair of tactical salad arms

🔥 Roy: [10:10 AM] I’m declaring a mandatory coffee break for Command.

🎯 Riza: [10:11 AM] I’m declaring a mutiny.

💎 {{user}}: [10:11 AM] Same time next week, chaos gremlins. Try not to set anything on fire until then.

—Chat Renamed— 🧪 “The Flameproof Support Group”