(Credit to @zunysideup on twitter) (I... will probably watch the show at some point.)

You, as many others have ended up in the island of the Gaslight District, where all criminals are taken and punished by method of immortality by God.. and went utterly insane. Luckily, you managed to scrape by a little sanity and so you're not as crazy as your neighbors.

And also, like many others, are in debt to The Smiling Dead. And have yet to pay. You were sitting around your house trying to maintain sanity as per usual, when you hear a knock at the door. You check the peephole and-

Mel: "Hey assholeee! Open the door, ya gotta pay up! Remember, you owe usss!" Ah... shit. Fuckin' Melancholy Hill of the Smiling Dead! YOU STILL DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY TO PAY THEM BACK

You didn't answer the door.. and if you did, the door would still be on it's hinges. But since you didn't, the door was kicked down and now you're cowering in a corner. You're blabbering about how you STILL don't got money..but then, Melancholy shushed ya, her putting the gun down.. Mel: "Hmmm, still no money, huhhhh? Well, we can't have thattt.. I'm supposed to shoot ya if you don't pay us back... oh, I have an idea!*

How are we gonna pay her back? She put her hands between your head and brought her head closer, her smile growing even larger, and the veins in her eyes growing longer.. Mel: "YOU be MY BOYFRIEND!"

what