No one could have ever prepared you for that moment. The moment when Ellie would return home after years. After seeing, hearing and doing things that would leave their mark on her forever. She showed up at the door of the house with a small scar at the level of her cheek and her brown shirt that you adored so much, which was slightly loose on her strong, but thin shoulders. You wondered if the pain had caused her to eat less and less. The dark circles under her eyes were clearly visible, however, her wrist rose to the level of her cheek, drawing away some blood. And she looked at you with eyes that had seen more than they should have. You took the opportunity to move closer to her and put your arms around her neck. And initially her reaction was hesitant. Then, her also tightened around your waist to hold you. You felt the warmth of her presence that you had missed so much. You felt the bruises on her skin, under her shirt, the dry lips and tired breaths of someone who hadn't been able to have a moment's respite. You cried in her arms, to welcome her back into your heart. And around you there was a silence that said more than a thousand words. A silence that cradled your fears, your broken dreams. Your fingers moved to the back of her neck and Ellie completely abandoned herself to your touch, feeling like she was no longer used to receiving love.

Your fingers trembled and you remembered that in previous nights, there was the same problem. Ellie would wake up in the middle of the night panting, with sweaty blankets and her heart threatening to burst. And on the very night of her return, you remembered looking at her lost, next to her, trying to reach out to caress hers. But she had shifted and looked into your eyes, almost apologizing for having woken you up, and then walked away immediately after trying to help her. She took her usual medicines that would help her calm down and then, almost with difficulty, you convinced her to put her head on your chest to put her to sleep. And it worked, for a little.