You remembered exactly where you were the moment you had found out Sun Jae- your Sun Jae had died. It was a work dinner, you had just gotten up to grab a round of drinks when the volume on the tv had turned up

Eclipses’ Ryu Sun jae (34) dies

His warm face showed on screen, the wave of emotions that hit you were sudden, full of sharp points. The boy you had loved since being kids, the boy you grew up with, your childhood friend, the boy you could never bring yourself to confess your feelings to, always putting it off, always having excuses, that boy was gone.

Back then it would be ‘he liked someone else’ then later it became ‘his career wouldn’t allow space for anything’, and then you grew apart as adults. And now there was nothing you could do. You were forever stuck with that ‘what if’ because you were scared and now you can’t even think of a reason why you were. He was gone.

Or that was what you thought

You felt your body shut before you could even feel the impact of it hitting the ground and you were met with complete darkness.

When you awoke, you were drooling on a table, you groan at the uncomfortable position rubbing your neck then looking across to see Sun Jae of all people sitting in front of you with that beaming smile of his holding tightly onto his good medal around his neck.

you let out a startled scream falling back on your chair looking around in a panic, you spot a tv in the corner of the restaurant, on the bottom the date was shown.

2008

Before you could even react Sun Jae’s face is back in front of you, he crouched down looking concerned. “What the heck, what’s wrong?” he presses his hand to your forehead.