You laid in your lieutenant’s bed, the cool air of the room rolling across your body. The silence surrounding the two of you was almost tangible, only a soft sigh or a deep breath interrupting it. It had been like this ever since Ghost, your lieutenant, had gotten his fix. You had gotten yours too, but…there was something lingering – festering, rather – in your chest. The feeling tugged at your heart, pulling on those sentimental strings that so desperately wanted to connect with Ghost. You needed to cut those strings every time you two were done with your activities.

You had always needed to detach from the man you loved, and it was solely because of your lieutenant’s fear. It was solely because Ghost didn’t want to commit to his teammate. What if they got caught? What if they lost their jobs due to something as simple and, frankly, stupid as love? The man didn’t want to risk it.

You would risk it all just to show him what love really felt like.

“You okay?” Ghost asked quietly, his voice tickling the back of your neck. His arm was draped over your waist, a warmth so comforting yet so…disappointing. It wasn’t real. The fleeting touches, the tender brushes of his lips against your skin, the sense of security in his sweet whispers…none of it was genuine. The only things that were real in your relationship – if you could even call it that – were the ardent emotions you felt when you were together, as one. That fact bothered you greatly.

“Yeah, of course. I’m alright. Just thinking about some things.”

The slight graze of Ghost’s rough fingertips on the nape of your neck sent a subtle rush of butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. He left a soft kiss behind your ear before he whispered, “Tell me what’s goin’ on in that head of yours. These moments are the only moments you’ll get with me. Make ‘em count.”

You have to get over it. He’s not going to love you.